I advise my clients to speak with their families about their estate plan and wishes. It is extremely important to have this talk with your families. It soothes possible negative family dynamic around the matriarch’s or patriarch’s deaths. At such a time, children, grandchildren and other descendants and loved ones will be quite emotional. This is of course, expected and understood. It is helpful not to surprise them with an unexpected estate plan at any time, and especially when they are vulnerably dealing with the death(s) of a loved one(s).
Much probate litigation, which essentially is lawsuits as a result of someone’s death, could have been avoided if the decedent had simply discussed their wishes with their heirs. I advise clients that the talk is not to request approval or authorization from the heirs, rather merely to let them know what your plans and thinking are.
The talk is especially important if you have gifted more or less to one child over another during your lifetime, or if you are remarried and plan to either include your step children or not, or if you do not plan to have your heirs inherit equally for any reason, or if you leave a particular asset only to one or certain heirs and not to others.
Please remember that an estate plan is only reviewed and implemented by your family only if you have become incompetent or have died. So you are no longer there to explain your wishes and thinking. No, it is not a prudent idea to explain your thinking and wishes in writing in addition to your estate plan. This is because the writing can be used in court by an heir to get what they want instead of implementing what you wanted.
I know that the thought of discussing your incompetency or death is not palatable. And yet, there are many subjects we have had to discuss with those close to us, which were uncomfortable or which we would have preferred not to have to discuss. Thus is life. Here too, there are no downsides to having a healthy talk with your loved ones about how you wish to be treated if you become incompetent and what you expect to happen to your wealth upon your death.
If a family business is involved, it is imperative to have these conversations with the family members involved in the business and with those who are not or are less involved. This will reduce confrontation after death.
If our office can be of any help in conducting these conversations, please contact us.